emotionally....scarY

to be frank, I've attempted blogging several times these few days..but I've was stuck. Everthing around me seems to stuck nowadays. My laptop stucks ,my words stuck, I begin to not know how to express things correctly,my pens stuck, and I'm stuck too. LOL, even after eating sweetcorns cause the residues to stuck in between my teeth.=( not to mention chocolates, cakes, crisps, sandwiches etc etc etc.. And figuratively, I'm stucK in between something that I'm yet to find the answers to it. By the way, just to make things clear,I'm not sad..I don'tthink I'm sad bout anything either.

It seems like, words aren't enough to convey what I'm writing these days. Maybe even my blog that's once calming doesn't understand me. I don't understand myself either. That's the whole problem. I'm becoming..."shen zhing bing" =( And I don't think I wanna admit that.LOLOLOLOLOL

Yes, I'm happy with my life and all .seriously. I am really really really contented.God has given me almost everything I need.. But, I just don't understand my own moodswings nowadays; getting more and more vulnerable even to minor things, and to think back, I'm actually losing my rationality, my patience and the cold me.I'm just..LOST.
*nods* I believe that I feel lost.. *thinks again*

And then, I begin to wonder..if females are emotionally weaker than the males. Or it's just the hormones that makes all the differences, that determine the drastic and extreme changes in moods. Take moms for example, I'm not talking bout all moms, but mostly..they're more..i mean less successful in controlling their tempers compared to the fathers. I still wonder why is that so. Is it because of the burden they carry or they're just, blatantly emotionaL. Dads are on the contrary, pictured as the more calm being, rational and able to handle stress well. Maybe, they are really more calm..or perhaps, they're just kinda more successfuL in controlling their emotions.
Whatever it is, for the time being, I would say that females, are generally more moody. I guess so...and they channel their emotions, through blaming others and being irrational,losing temper on others, thinking negatively, crying for no reason

that's just a baseless opinion I could draw at this very moment.It would be a different case if I'm taking up pshychological classes I reckon. even the 3 months period of internship leads me to think this way. The seniors who're guys are comparably, much more happy-go-lucky and display the cheerful, vibrant look..as compared to the females. Well, cut it short. I'm generalizing things, so prove me wrong..

That's the externaL picture I could draw. But, then..what makes me afraid of..is what I'm feeling right now.

I..had many confessions to make..just to prove that I'm crazy. @@ hahahahaha
I've cried, in public summore! so not me! There was once, when I entered into the lrt station..and ended up in cheras TWICE!!!!instead of Ampang. I've taken the wrong train, just becoz the train notice board didnt indicate where it was heading to. Not even a sign of 'tren ini ke Ampang/Sri Petaling. There I was, crying in the train station!!!!haHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA T.T

Little things do irritates me a lot. Even music can be annoying. I'm becoming totally noise intolerant at times, that I just wanna lock myself up and keep myself from human interactions..but, den again, up to a certain point, i seem to realize that doing this would make me feel lonely.Humans just can't leave without interactions, without noises...etc.

I bought a pair of earplugs as well xDDD , throwing cash unnecessarily for something which I won't use.

And, at times, I do feel that I'm getting too emotional over words..that my heart goes T.T and T.T non stop.
Tell me something touching and I'll go all the way hugging you.hahaha.
Even watching some drama serioes, any dramas that contains at least a bit of touching scenes would make my eyes go watery.
T,T
Even when my mom tells me to do something, I was like T.T
And I got upset for putting the icecream box into the refrigerator instead of the fridge >_<

I just don't believe how could someone, just T.T although she's not sad at all.
Dat's the whole problem.
I'm either getting easily touched, or getting..''shen zhing bing''. If it's about exams, I don't feel the fear yet,i guess. so why am I behaving like T.T <<<
LOL, maybe I should exercise more..jog in my residential area, do push ups, sit ups..
jump around or sth..to make my cells happier.watch comedies, or just crack some lame jokes and laugh. does it work?

=DDDD

yerrrr, am I me?


And btw, my new sem is really like...a waterfall ,water gushing down non stop..hitting the rocks...rivers overflowing~~~ xD how thrilling. THat's the beauty i seee =) , dear lecturers.hehehe